In the Dense of Things I Will Destroy You

Guess what guys? My mom likes my writing!

Remember when I told you I gave her some of my writing over Thanksgiving and she never said anything about it?  Well, she randomly emailed me last week saying how she’d love to read more of my stories so I sent about four to her and she emailed me two days ago and said that my writing is “brilliant!”  She used about four exclamation points and all caps.  It made my heart full.  My mom liked my writing.  My mom is proud of me I guess.  It felt good. Not gonna lie.

 One of the stories even had jacking off in it!!!  My mom must love jacking off stories. 

I love my mom.

Also, I am now beginning to get awp anxiety.  I think it’s because maybe a lot more people seem to be going and maybe because a lot more people know I will be there.  Last year I never really said that I’d outright be there and maybe nobody was looking for me.  Now I feel like people might be wanting to meet me and I will just disappoint them.  Maybe they have a certain image of me and maybe the real me will tarnish that image and they’ll be all, “fuuuuccckk….” and, “loser” and, “gross.”  I know these are irrational fears.  I would’ve probably heard something last year that I was  “fuuuuccckk….” “loser” and, “gross”  but I didn’t (to my face at least).  So, I think I’m okay but still, the fear….

Also, (I start lots of paragraphs with “also.” Annoying.)  I have a really sucky memory.  I “know” a lot of people on the internet via an association of their Twitter handle/photo or Facebook photo/name.  If you present yourself to me in person and you don’t have a little square with your icon innit and your name printed next to it, I might be confused as to your identity.  I feel bad that I might look at people in a confusing/befuddled/embarrassed way and make them feel bad.  This happened a few times last year and I felt horrible.  Therefore, if you want to introduce yourself as your twittername or facebook name (if not your real name) go right ahead.  Just please understand I will probably be drunk and confused and caught up in the awp whirlwind so, don’t hate me. 

Just kidding about all that awp stuff. I’m hiring that same girl I hired last year.  She had a great time.  If you have any problems with her, remember it’s not me, it’s her.