I have something wrong in my mouth.  A small hole that got bigger and bigger.  It seems bigger now. Today. There is a pain.  I can look for things in there.  Sometimes I find things.  Things that smell bad.  I want to become very tiny and go exploring.  Mine the inside of the hole with scrapers and fluoride.  Die under a flood of pus. 

I think I exploded veins in my face.  It looks like my eyes are leaking a fan of blood.  I hope it doesn’t spread.  Did vomiting do that?  If you vomit in the dark, would that make it worse?  I do not know what is happening to what I live inside of on a daily basis.   

Somebody needs to take all the footage from the past four days and break it down frame by frame.  Analyze.  Formulate.  Theorize.

Feel like I’ve lost interest in a lot of things.  Like, being away from my normal environment shook everything I look to for worth loose.  A rake of leaves.  My insides are like, shit and food and piss and liquids and blood.  Before this week they seemed like more than that.  Now I'm scared that's all there was.

When I become that tiny miner and crawl inside my mouth hole I will look more around.  I’m  going to try to get to my guts.  See if I can find all of the swallowed watermelon seeds.  See if I can find that tiny plastic horse.  See if I can make out the edges of where that ulcer healed up.  The ulcer that made me not want to eat for a long time a long time ago.  I think that if I can find these things I will feel better, like finding proof of things I was starting to believe never happened.

Everything is wet outside but I’m not sure that means it rained.